Uber stories - 3

I had two interesting experiences with Uber at Salt Lake City recently. Actually they were both Lyft drivers as I recently switched to using Lyft from Uber because of the reputation Uber has developed lately.

The first is Marty. Marty is an elderly gentleman and must be in his 60s. Very friendly and cordial. He mentioned in our 15 minutes drive that he was a teacher for 9 years in New York when I mentioned that I was from New Jersey. He continued to mention that he and his wife just returned from a long trip from New Delhi and London recently. I asked about why he was in India, assuming that he must be traveling like most retirees do.

"Oh no, we go to India twice a week and spend few weeks with our grandchildren". He said
"We have a condo in Vasant Vihar in New Delhi". He continued.

I was now curious why he has an apartment in India. He is a white American and what is he doing in India twice a year? His daughter met and married an Indian while she was in grad school. She is a doctorate so is her husband. Then he mentioned that his son-in-law is from a well to do family in India. The family is owner of a well known conglomerate in India focusing on telecom. So he and his wife visit India twice a year to spend time with their grandchildren.

His son is married and lives in Salt Lake City so they return to SLC after their visits abroad. Then we switched to his hobby of fly fishing. I asked him how I can check out how to fly fish. He took my number and lo-behold that evening he sent me information where I can take fly-fishing classes. I am hoping to take them if I return to SLC in Spring.

The second driver is another elderly lady also in her 60s driving a Mini Cooper. She looked like and spoke like a grandmother. She was dropping me off at the airport and in those 20 minutes she mentioned that she travelled couple of times to India in her younger days with her daughter and travelled from Delhi all the way to south of India but not sure where.  What took me by surprise about her is that she was very philosophical. Our conversation was about how having spare time makes us creative. Our conversation was around how life in US has made us busy with work and trying to survive to pay our insurance and mortgage that we have no time to explore ourselves and be creative.  She mentioned that she lived in Paris and traveled with expats in Paris around the world.

Salt Lake City, in spite of its reputation as being conservative have lot interesting people. I met this interesting gentleman at a Sushi bar. He is actually from Wyoming and loves Sushi. A person in his mid-fifties and has unique taste for traveling. He never travels to expensive cities like London or Paris. He gets a month off twice a year and he picks cheaper cities and countries like Istanbul, Vietnam, Argentina, Chile and spends a month exploring. He once flew alone to Santiago in Chile, rented a motorbike and went driving around Chile pacific coast and up the Atlantic coast in Argentina. He says it changed his life for good after that trip and highly recommends me to do the same. I may take it up. Who knows. A Sushi loving biker from Wyoming inspires me to take up motor biking in South America.

Uber Stories -2

Last Saturday afternoon I call for Uber to get a ride from Penn Station in Manhattan to my apartment in Queens. It is 25-30 minutes ride and I usual spend the time chatting with the driver. Every driver has an interesting story to tell and the part of the world they come from.

This one was from Pakistan. After a bit of small talk, he tells me that he is from a place near Lahore in Pakistan. I thought he is like rest of the immigrants living with his family in Queens and plying taxi in Manhattan to make a living. Nope. He works 4-6 months driving Uber and then goes back to his family in Pakistan to live for 2 months and then comes back to drive Uber again. So travels back and forth between US and Pakistan twice or thrice a year.

His expenses are like this:

• He doesn't own a car. He rents it when he is in US and drives it for Uber. He pays $500/month rental on the car. 
• Apartment expense $500-600/month
• Not sure how much on gas/petrol
• Eats out in restaurant and so does not cook. Dinning out $200/month
• Buys his cloths and stuff in Pakistan. Does not take gifts from US
• He saves about $2-3k/month after taxes and sending money home. After saving about $10k in savings he heads for home in Pakistan.

He has four kids from 9 months old to 14 years old. His brothers and mother live with his family. They are not well to do. He holds American passport but never brought his family to US. His wife doesn't want to come because she is an orthodox muslim in a burqa all the time. He also wants his kids to learn Islam and muslim way of life in Pakistan. He hopes to bring his children for higher education to US. They attend english medium schools in Pakistan.

I asked how he got his US citizenship. He was vague about it. He claims he was in US in early 1990s driving cab in Manhattan and got his green card and then the citizenship in lottery or something. 

This is a growing trend among many skilled and unskilled people around the world. This is called on-demand economy. Companies like Uber are making it possible for people who have spare time and a vehicle to make a quick buck and then withdraw into their private life. Most Uber drivers in non-metro areas in US are well educated and well to do who wants to make few bucks during their idle time and spend taking their wife or girl friend out for a good dinner. Their income is taxed. This on-demand services are allowing people with spare time to do tasks for others like running errands (taskrabbit.com), doing groceries/shopping.

This growing trend will change the way we will work and live. In my previous blogs I showed how taxi drivers in India are able to find more clients, make more money and became entrepreneurial using Uber. The Indian driver I wrote about lifted his monthly salary from Rs 5-6k to Rs 20k. That is a four fold increase. He is now thinking of buying cars and use them for Uber. He hates Meeru with whom he used work for before.

With the rise of Uber and Lyft (Uber's competition), I am even considering not to replace my aging car. Once my kids move out of the house, it is best to move to urban area with good public transportation and use Uber kind of services when necessary rather than spend tons buying a car, maintaining it and paying insurance.

Our current model of having to work full time, monthly fixed salary, and limited vacation/spare time, does not give us the flexibility to pursue our interests. Between 2006 and 2011 I pursued the same model of basing my family in India and I traveling back to US for business/work. Professional life is good US but not personal life. Life is in India, in spite of traffic, pollution, roads, and people is still relaxing. I could pick many hobbies when in India such as sketching, water color painting, chess. I started to play golf, travel around, catchup with India movies, music, friends, and books. I had art tutors come to my house and give me one-on-one classes. Festivals in India is true festivals. It is not something you celebrate on a weekend. The same with birthdays. I can enjoy the music concerts in India.

Here is a picture of cricket game in progress in the township I live.

Life in US has its own pluses - infrastructure, professional satisfaction, recreational facilities, intellectual growth,  cultural and intellectual exposure - good radio, TV programs (PBS), concerts, museums, libraries, books, universities, conversations, debates. But life in US is expensive - the insurances (car, house,flood, umbrella, health, ...), education, travel, hobbies, housing, car expenses. So to live in US one has to make a decent salary and for a decent salary one has to have a job, and to have such a job you have to stress yourself out that you don't have to in India.

So how is it possible to get the best of both worlds? My pakistani Uber driver figured it out. Live in both countries and get a piece of both worlds. How? Here is how I did it for last 8 years.

My family was in India living in Hyderabad. India gave me a stable base, decent education for my kids, a society to keep an eye on the children, gave them the Indian roots, was at home for every major festivals, visited relatives and childhood friends regularly. Attended numerous weddings.

Expenses in India are minimal. Excluding your housing and school fees, it costs about Rs 1 lakh (Rs 100k) per month to have the top 1% of the population life style in India. For that expense you can maintain two cars, a driver, a live-in maid, eat twice or more a month in the best restaurants in town, travel to visit parents, host parties, take care of NRIs who visit, etc.

I would travel to US for professional work. I had a car but there is no need for one if you live in a metro places like New York (It is 3 months since I touched my car as I live in New York now). I use Uber a lot or public transportation. Don't rent an apartment. For staying for few days using airbnb, for longer-term rentals you have sulekha.com. I always found very good apartments for few months.

I would travel to India every 3 to 4 months. Many times I travel to India to work remotely from India. Even if I don't, the expenses I don't have to pay for in US, pays for my plane ticket which is about $800-1200 round trip when traveling from the coast during off season. The per-mile cost is far less than traveling between the coasts in US. 

This is exactly what this Pakistani Uber driver is doing and I were doing for last few years. When in India, I enjoy every minute of it. When back in US, I enjoy my professional, cultural, and intellectual life. I was able to do this because my kids preferred to stay in India while in school and I have a supportive wife.  I don't think everybody can pull this off. Had it not for my children college education, I would have continued this Uber style arrangement.

In fact most of the NRIs living in my gated community in India do the same. Wife and kids stay put in India while husbands work overseas and show up every few months. Kids go to the best schools and have private tutors coming to home to help them with academics. Kids finish high school in India, write SATs and come back to US for college education. Everybody is happy. Wives are the most happiest ones because they don't have their husbands around to nag them. I call those wives "The Merry Wives of Hill County" (Hill county is the name of the gated community I live in) and the husbands "The Uber husbands".

Uber Stories - 1

Few days back, I took Uber to get to Penn Station to catch Amtrak. The car showed up and the driver name was Philip. I thought it would be non-south Asian given that I mostly come across Bangladeshi, Pakistani, Indian Uber drivers in NYC. I find the driver Indian.

After getting into the car he asks me if I am Indian and I say yes. I ask him where he is from. He tells me he is from Delhi, immigrated an year back, was working in gas station before introduced to Uber by friends few weeks back and now he is driving Uber full time. He tells me that he drove for embassies in Delhi. I ask him how he came to US. He tells me that he is world famous and that is why he is here in US !!!

Phillip tells me he was famous from the famous US-Indian diplomatic tussle that happened in 2013 that ruffled Indo-US relationships. Devyani Khobrogade was an Indian diplomat who was arrested and alleged strip searched by the police in US on charges that she was not paying the minimum wages to the maid that she brought from India. The maid, Sangeeta Richard, claimed that she was paid the equivalent of $573.07 a month, which would work out to about $3.31 an hour based on a 40-hour workweek. She claimed that she typically worked 90 to 100 hours a week, which would work out to only $1.32 to $1.46 an hour. Devyani and her father fought this case both in US and in India and on the Indian streets. Indian government in turn harassed US diplomat wives working without proper paper work in local embassy school. Eventually Devyani was allowed to leave US on diplomate visa.

Phillip is husband of the maid/nanny, Sangeeta Richard. They have two grown up children who are now 19 and 21 years and attending local university. Phillip tells me that he was whisked out of India with only two days notice. He sold his car and house and come to US with $15k. He was in contact with US officials after his wife told about being harrassed by Devyani. They gave him asylum and brought him out of India. 

I was asking the details of the case when he told me that it is ver possible Sangeeta was lying and may be exploiting the situation. I was taken aback. 

Once Richard reached US, he had a bigger shock. He moved in with his wife and kids. Few weeks later, he went to social security office to apply for SS number and when he returned, the room was empty. His wife left with the kids along with his $15k cash and furniture. When he reached her over the phone, she told him that she has moved in with the ex-driver of Devyani along with her children.  He threatened to go to police if he doesn't stop calling her. 

Phillip claims that his wife had been having an affair with the driver she was working in US and he was in India. He believe she was instigated by the driver to file a complaint about Devyani to exploit the situation. He claims that he was not aware of these until he came to US. He claims Sangeeta made the wild claims only to stay back in US. 

He now lives in a basement in Queens in NYC sharing it with a Bangaldeshi driver. He lost touch with his family and friends in India. Claims that he has about 420 arrest warrants against him in India, penniless in US, without children and his life is devastated. His sister and family members in India continue to get harrassed by Devyani's father who is now a politician and member of parliament. 

Phillip contacted the US authorities to explain the situation and they don't want to do anything with his domestic issues. I was intrigued. That evening I browsed about this case and looked for off-the-road articles about the inside scoop. There are few of them and here are few tidbits:

• Sangeeta requested to work part-time few months after she started to work for Devyani in NYC. Permission denied.
• Sangeeta disappears. Devyani could not file missing-person report with NYC police. Police requests kith-and-kin to file it. Sangeet's husband refuses to file one from India.
• Devyani claims getting a call from a lady blackmailing about overworking her maid and asking her to change Sangeeta's visa to allow her to terminate her work and work in US. Devyani reports this to the police in NYC
• Philip non-cooperative in India. Devyani files a FIR against Philip in India.
• Philip whisked out of India by US and given asylum visa. Few days after he reaches US, Devyani was arrested and the diplomatic blowup happens.  
• Sangeeta's mother-in-law (Agnes) and father-in-law (Phillip's parents) worked with embassies in Delhi and that could be the reason how Sangeeta was able to land up as maid with Devyani. One article quoted Agnes saying that her daughter-in-law always wanted to go abroad to work. 

Few days after landing in US, Sangeeta leaves Philip with her children for another man. Philip claims that the daughter knew about this and refuses to return to the father and that Sangeeta wants Philip to take their son instead. Philip wanted both the children.

Philip now rents and lives in a room in a basement somewhere in Queens, makes a living driving Uber taxi. He claims that he was duped by his wife into thinking that she was being exploited by Devyani and now he says that may not be the case. He has no connection with India. He keeps in touch with his sister. No mention about his parents. Says he is not in touch with friends in India. He cannot return to India and he is nobody in US and alone. Looks like he bit more than he can chew. 

Uber Experience: India

Uber has recently been in news in India and around the world. A woman passenger was allegedly raped by a Uber driver in Delhi and the fallout was very bad.

I have used Uber for some time in US and I believe it is a revolutionary service that impacts most of us who travel a bit. The other one is of course AirBnb. Uber freed me from the seedy taxi services we see in urban areas in US, overpriced, seedy service. I sometimes wonder if women ever use old taxi services given its seedy nature. Hailing a cab is a nightmare in Manhattan. With taxi medallions costing over a $1 milion USD the cab costs having been going up in NYC.

Enter Uber. It made my life easy to get reasonably priced taxi service in most parts of the world. Having lived in Austin and now in New York City, Uber and other taxi services are god sent. You can call them anytime, from almost anywhere in US.

If you are not familiar with Uber, here is how it works. You can be Uber driver or a Uber passenger.

As Uber passenger, you download the app on your smartphone. You store your credit card info and sign up at Uber website. Anytime you want a taxi, you turn on the app on the phone, specify where you want to be picked and the destination. Your request is routed to few Uber drivers in your vicinity. Once your request is picked by one of the Uber driver, the driver drives his car to your location to pick you. Once you are dropped up at your destination there is nothing you have to do. You will be charged automatically on your credit card.

When you sign up for Uber as a driver, they do a background check about you (criminal, driving history, etc). Once selected you are given some training (at least in India) on how to communicate with customers, how to use Uber app on iPhone, etc. Then they give you an iPhone with their app on it at no price in India but I heard they charge a monthly rent of $10/month in US. All communications are done through this iPhone. When the driver decides to ply his car, he will turn on Uber's phone and makes himself available. Based on the driver's location, taxi ride requests are routed to him. If he decides to take it, he will respond and then connected to the customer. If not interested, he ignores the request. After certain number of requests are ignored Uber tries to find out why and it may reflect poorly on the driver and may eventually result in termination of contract with them.

Both the driver and the customer gets to rate each other. This gives a great incentive to behave well with each other. Once the customer finishes his/her ride, he just walks out of the cab. The actual ride cost is automatically charged to your credit card. In US, the price per mile changes dynamically with day of time and location. Greater the demand greater the price. So hailing a Uber cab around 9 PM or later from an airport costs more than hailing it in suburbs during working hours. One can watch the prices rise or fall and then hail for a cab. I see the old yellow cabs in US fading away soon with the coming of Uber or Lyft.

I signed up for Uber while living in India and never got to use it in India until recently. Few days back, with no vehicle to take me to the city in Hyderabad, India, I used Uber. There was only one Uber taxi in my neighborhood at 7 AM and it showed up on time. I was running late for a breakfast meeting and hopped into the taxi. The taxi was exceptionally clean and was running smoothly. It is my habit to get into conversation with Uber drivers. I ask how they find the service, how the service works, how it impacts their lives. Most Uber drivers I find in US are immigrants. I had two Ethiopian drivers in Austin and Pennsylvania, mostly Pakistani and west Africans drivers in New York City, a few white Americans, and one 60+ year old dignified suit wearing Greek driver in Astoria, New York.

So I started to chat with my first Indian Uber driver. His name is Srinivas, hails from nearby town, passed 12th grade and can read/write/understand English. I asked him how it works in India.

Srinivas used to be a regular taxi driver working for Meru cabs. Meru is a normal cab service that took off during last few years in India. They provide taxi cars to the drivers, charge them a daily rent, take care of the car, market the taxi service, and route the customers to their drivers from their call center. They track the cars through GPS and provide credit card charging service on the cabs itself. The drivers get to own their cabs after working for 3 years for Meru. In addition to charging a daily rental fee for the cars, Meru takes 15% of the fare while charging the customer Rs 21/km or so.

Apparently Meru reneged on the promise and did not give the cars after 3 years of services from the drivers. The drivers went on strike but could not sustain. Srinivas was decided to go on his own. He took a bank loan of about Rs 800k (8 lakhs) with Rs 3 lakhs down payment. He started using his private car as Meru cab initially and later signed up for both Uber and Ola (Indian version of Uber). Uber takes 20% of the fare and provides far more customers than Meru. To encourage more drivers, Uber gives bonuses after each week or month. The bonuses could be hefty for the drivers like Rs 5k or so. Uber provides iPhone at no cost to drivers while Meru expects its drivers to purchase the phone from them.

Srinivas claims that he gets somewhere between 4-7 rides through Uber each working day and lot more during weekends. The most popular spots are in Hi-tech area, Banjara hills area, the hotels in Banjara area, and the airport. He says that all rides from the 5 star hotels are always through Uber and never through Meru. He says that for costumers, Meru is lot expensive because it charges Rs 21/km while Uber charges Rs 13/km. There are no off-hour charges as they are in US. All Uber drivers are taxi drivers and none are private drivers like we see in US. Uber gives bonus for every passenger picked from the airport. 

Since Srinivas signed up for Uber his income shot up many folds. He claimed that when he was plying Meru cab using Meru's car he was hardly making around Rs 7-10K after all expenses. When he was able to buy his own car he is able to take home Rs 20k+/month after all expenses including mortgage payment, car servicing, fees to Meru and Uber, and gas/diesel. He maintains his car exceptionally well. It is extremely clean inside in spite of being 3 years old. He is married recently and hopes to purchase more cars and use them for Uber taxi services. He informed that Telangana government these days provides interest free loans  or provides gauranteed loans through banks to taxi drivers to purchase the vehicles.

Srinivas tells that Uber is having impact not only on the taxi services in India but also on the auto drivers. Autos charge about Rs 10/km which is not much less from Uber's price (Rs 13/km) on top of it one has to haggle a price with the autos who don't use the meter.

Touching Email

I received a touching email many months back. It is from a former student of my school. Let me share what it is about.

After moving to India in 2006, my high school (SVU Campus School) celebrated golden jubilee (50 years) in 2007 or so. I was a bit active in organizing it from alumni point of view. We sponsored the celebrations, got the building whitewashed, collected donations for future projects, honored the teachers, etc.

One thing we did was publish a magazine (souvenir) and contributed articles in it. I wrote one about my childhood experience studying in the school. I narrated many anecdotes related to friends, teachers, sports events, many things. Frankly I was not happy with the quality of my writing but I did make it interesting with stories. Other friends wrote of other topics.

Fast forward to now, almost 6 years later. I received this email today:

Hi Sudheer garu,

I have gone through your article in the Golden Jubilee souvenir of S.V.U Campus school.I too studied there (2001 batch) and it gave me immense pleasure while reading the article as it spoke about many teachers and especially Bharathi Madam.

you must be wondering how i know her ..she is my mother and it was really nice to know many things about her through your article like "phoren stories".Unfortunately i couldn't be with her for a long time and i didn't know much about how she was as a teacher and as a person.It was indeed a great article touching all the aspects of student life.Kudos sir!!!!

 Thank you once again for sharing those lovely moments with us 

Parimala. 

One of the anecdotes I narrated was about a teacher, Bharathi madam. Here is what I wrote about her. She never taught any subject to my class but she would come in as a substitute teacher. She is a telugu teacher but read many english novels, especially the racy ones - James Hadley Chase novels. She was a voracious reader. I remember seeing her reading during breaks. 

As summer approached and the school started to wind down, we would have half-day school (school starts early and closes by lunch). This was the most exciting time of the year - less school, no classes because teachers are busy conducting public exams. Most importantly it was the excitement of coming summer holidays and mangoes. In that excitement, we would sometimes be asked to vacate out of class rooms to make way for public exams for 10th class. We would be asked to sit under trees and the substitute teachers would keep an eye on us. 

It was most fun when Bharathi madam would be assigned as our substitute teacher. She was young compared to other teachers and so was friendly with us unlike the rest of the teachers who maintained that student-teacher distance. She would spend the whole day narrating the English novels she was reading or already read before. Her narration of an English novel in Telugu was interesting. She would skip the racy parts of the novels but they were action packed. We would be sitting cross legged gaping and devouring every word of the world so foreign to us. It was like watching a James Bond movie. Unfortunately she would never finish any novel because she would run out of time. Next time she shows up in our class, we try to tell her where she left. After trying to understand what we are trying to say, she would give up and start a brand new novel and the adventure starts again.

It is possible that I was inspired to pick books and read them from the reading of my teacher. May be I wanted to do the same when I grow up or may be wanted to know more about the exotic lives of "phoren people" in phoren countries.

This is what I said about her in the magazine article I wrote but using far fewer sentences. I never realized that five years later I would touch the heart of my teacher's daughter and help her know more about her mother. Frankly I was touched by the email. 

This blog is for Parimala, for whom I write to let her know how big an influence her mother was in making me a reader. Reading that opened my mind and made me see the world.

(If you are interested to read my article in our school souvenir, click this link)

India when I am old (Part 2/2)

So how is life for the old in India. Here are few anecdotes from my personal experience in India, US and other places.

My aunt (my mother's sister) still maintains a "joint family" right in the middle of Hyderabad. She lives with her two sons, daughters-in-law, and grandchildren. There are occasional frictions but she and my uncle are respected and well taken care. They help their children financially, provide housing (house owned by the parents), baby sit their grandchildren, cook food, maintain the house. The sons in return share expenses, take care of their parents when they fall sick. This is a perfect arrangement. They belong to upper middle-class.

Few years back, when we were looking for a maid because ours left unexpectedly, we were introduced to an old lady. She told us that she left her son because he wasn't taking care of him (ill treating), could not get along with her daughter-in-law, and wanted to live alone and be independent. In spite of our skepticism, we took her. We showed her how to use dish washer, washing machine and the dryer to make her aware that there won't be any back breaking work washing cloths and dishes. On the contrary, the poor lady got scared and left the next day muttering that she would rather be ill treated by her son rather than learn how to use these gadgets.

My own maternal grandmother had four sons and two daughters. She was well do it in her hay days (when my grandfather was alive). She gave away her property to her children while she was healthy to avoid conflicts between the children. Big mistake. As soon as the sons (my uncles) realized there is nothing to get from her, none wanted to keep her with them. She eventually stayed most of the her later life with my aunt (see above) and my mother. Eventually when it became physically impossible to live at my aunt's place (because daughters-in-law started to come) she had to look for alternate housing. None of her son came forward to take care of her or even pay for her living expenses. Her grandchildren (me and rest of us) had to pool money to pay one of our uncles every month to take care of their mother. This continued till the day she died. Towards her end her sons did not pay for her hospital expenses. After she passed away, the youngest son, who is supposed to give a honorable cremation refused to allow his mother's dead body into his house. She was unceremoniously bundled way from the hospital to cremation ground and cremated. 

My grandmother's sister story is a different one. She had two sons and after one passed away, the other son came back to take care of his mother and family of his deceased brother. Family problems creeped in soon, mother sued the son over property issues, relationship were completely broken. Today, she is 89 years old, lives alone. The widowed daughter-in-law and her children moved abroad. The remaining son in India keeps away from her. Hurt feelings go a long way. Recently she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She is battling it alone.

In my hometown of Tirupati, many maids come and go while working at my parents place. I chat with them to understand lives of the poor and the underprivileged. One such person was an old lady. She was abandoned by her son and so had to live on her own. The son just disappeared one fine day leaving his widowed mother all alone. It appears that he was just too poor to take care of her. I heard such stories of poor abandoning their wives, sons, parents all the time in India. Life is just way too difficult for somebody who makes $1/day.

I have many NRI friends that I met in India who returned to India primarily because one of their parent is gravely ill or too old to take care of themselves. They live with their parents and take care of them during their last days. I have two childhood friends from school and college who refused to go abroad not because they are not capable but because they wanted to stay closer to their parents. Both took care of their parents in their own house till the parents passed away. One of the friend's wife was supposed to have carried her mother-in-law around in her arms because the mother-in-law was paralyzed.

Lazy Sunday Morning ...

[I wrote this blogs many years back while in India. Forgot to post it but it reflects my life in India]

Sunday mornings are the same everywhere. Whether in US or India or other parts of the world. I always enjoyed them as anybody else. I recollect my Sunday mornings growing up in India. I couldn't wait to finish brushing my teeth so I would grab the paper before my father gets his hands on it and devour it with the toothbrush still stuck in my mouth through out the one hour session (this weekly soaking session of my teeth in tooth paste may explain why I never got cavities ;-) . 

In US my Sunday morning routine was to pick freshly baked bagels from nearby bagel shop, brew fresh coffee and sit with my pile of New York Times weekend edition on my backyard deck and read the papers while listening to the twitter of birds in nearby woods. Since we moved back to India four years back that routine has changed. Life is never still and calm in India. While my wife is busy "managing" the maid, I collect my newspapers and sit in the balcony of my apartment (which is in a cluster of about 14 apartment buildings so close you can hear the neighbors shout at each other) and go through them while I get my coffee. Sun light streams delicately through the clouds. The temperature is a balmy 78F. 

While I settle with my papers and coffee, the sounds I hear are very different from those I would hear in my house in suburban New Jersey. My neighbor is on a full flow this morning with her maid and her children. I hear a child shouting for her still-sleeping friend to come out and play. I hear somebody sweeping their driveway with a broom. I hear the clanging of the dishes while people are preparing their breakfast. Mothers shouting at their kids to wake up and others shouting about their homework (Indian parents will never lose an opportunity to nag about homework). The white noise permeates but doesn't bother my reading. The only thing missing is smell of a nice masala dosa wafting through the morning air. My wife picked puri for breakfast today and it doesn't have the same aroma as a dosa or a peserattu

The one thing I used to miss in this picture is the New York Times. Call me whatever you wish - uber liberal - I love this newspaper and every section of it. I try reading it religiously. I tried to subscribe this paper (International edition is available and called "International Herald Tribune" IHT) in India but it is as expensive as $1/day. So I opt for the online edition which does not have the same experience as reading a paper. Surprisingly I found out that you can purchase IHT from news stands in Hyderabad for Rs 30. So I picked the weekend edition and settle down with it and two other Indian newspapers.

In spite of the din I enjoy the day. Times of India Sunday edition called 'The Crest" has an excellent article on archeology and history in India. This same newspaper becomes trashy on the weekdays with pictures of bimbos, dimbos (desi bimbos) and curvy woman. I ogle at these pictures hoping my children aren't looking at what I am reading. I adjust my glasses and move on to more mundane things about whether US will have a double dip recession. I give up in the middle and move on to more hedonistic topics about how Bollywood movie actresses take up movies in south Indian movie industry to make extra money or revive their flagging careers (I am perpetually puzzled why south Indian movies prefer North Indian actresses and South Indian actors). 

The music teacher arrives to teach my younger son Karnatic music. So the morning is filled with my 11 year old struggling with his mournful Sa-Re-Ga-Ma. My wife comes to wag her finger at me to remind me about another one of the innumerable "function" we have to attend in the afternoon where they will read a an hour long story that I heard more than hundred times since I got married (as a child and bachelor we were exempted from this ritualistic torture). I give her a puzzled look hoping she will let me escape. She doesn't. Finally I have to drop my facade of ignorance and reluctantly agree to attend. My blissful Sunday morning ends and I return to the safe arms of my Mac laptop to write this blog. Now I have to plot how to escape form this function.

India when I am old (Part 1/2)

I was watching a TED talk by my favorite anthropologist (I only know one), Jared Diamond , about how old people are valued in traditional societies (small, tribal) and how they are not in modern societies (large, educated, tech savvy). It made me wonder that if America is the later, where exactly is India? Is it a traditional or an advanced one or straddling in the middle? Many of my generation are middle-aged. Soon our children will go to colleges never to return. It is not what skills we need to keep our jobs that will be important but what skills we need to have a secure and contented life when we become old (retire). So read on.

First, let me summarize what Jared says.

• In Modern societies the old rarely live with their children or with the young people. They live in separate housing for retired and old, sometimes separate states (Florida, Arizona). Rarely do you see the young and old interact. In traditional societies, grandparents, their children, and grand children (three generations) usually live together, co-exist and value each other. The young protect the old and the old pass on their skills to the young.
• Some traditional societies ill treat or neglect their old too. Especially nomadic and hunt-gathering ones that cannot carry the weak and elderly, and those living in shifting and harsh environment like the deserts and Arctic where there is not enough to feed everybody. But for most part, the traditional societies tend to take care of their old.

So why such variation in treatment? Are traditional societies better than the modern ones? No. Jared Diamond says the answer lies in how useful the younger generation feels about the older one. The more value the younger generation sees in the older generation the better they take care of their old. It is as simple as that. Here is a summary of the reasons:

Reason 1: Usefulness of the Elderly

In traditional societies, older generation continue to be valuable by taking care of the young (baby sitting), build tools, teach the young (hunting, gathering, cooking, making tools and weapons), and through knowledge (medicine, what is poisonous, politics) that only the old have monopoly through their experience. The old are the Wikipedia of their societies.

In modern societies there is no such monopoly because there are day-care centers to care of the very young. Books, Internet, Wikipedia, and Google to learn from. Knowledge from experiences become irrelevant very fast (knowing how to drive a stick shift is no longer relevant). Everything an old person can do a young person can do better in modern societies.

In societies with rapidly evolving technologies, the elderly are totally at loss because they can't keep up the pace. (For those of us who are in IT profession are not going to fare any better either. There will come a time when they cannot keep up with the pace of tech change). So the usefulness of the elderly in a fast paced modern societies is almost zero. That is why old are shunted away.

Reason 2: Culture

This is where cultures like India, Africa, East Asia come into the picture. In these ancient societies there was and is a culture of respecting and taking elders whether they are useful or not. In east asia it is Confucius philosophy which teaches people to take care of their elderly for filial reasons. In India it must be the epics extolling the value of taking care of the elderly (Rama obeying his father and self-exiling into forest, Pandavas taking care of Kunti while out of power, but the best is the story of Shravan who took care of his blind parents but was accidentally killed by Dasaratha)

There is no need to write about how the elderly are in modern societies (this includes urban India, modernized east asian countries like Korea, Taiwan, etc and not just the western societies). Here Jared gives a convincing explanation. The culprit is - The Protestant Work Ethic, that exists in developed protestant countries like US, North Europe, Britain, etc. I would call it "modern work ethic" because every society trying to modernize is trying to instill this value.

This work ethic places high importance on - hard work, self-reliance and independence - all of which are not possible for the elderly.

Reason 3: Obsession with Youth

As societies grows, there are more young in the society and so the market celebrates the young and energetic not the old and wise. You rarely see old in advertisements, the old are shown as bumbling buffoons, young upstarts in politics or corporate world are perceived as coming with "fresh ideas".

Solutions and Conclusions

At this point Jared goes on to give possible solutions that I found very weak and impractical. Training grandparents to be baby sitters, letting them to continue their profession and share their experience, etc. These are not going to happen.

But my interest is drawing the parallel between these observations with Indian society in the past (before 90s) and present (post 90s). Where are we? Are we a traditional or modern society? Are we truly treating our elderly better than the counterparts in modern society? How does it differ between different classes? How is Indian society going to treat its elderly in another 15-20 years (when we reach our senior citizen status)? Is it worth moving back to India because we think we will be treated better there? How important is health care for the elderly in both the societies?

I shall discuss this in a sequel blog.

Watch Jared Diamond's talk here.

The Beauty of Religious Coexistence in India

The Indian Muslim Culture

I had one of the most wonderful experience recently when I was invited over to a house warming function of my office administrator in the city of Hyderabad, India. I will call him SS. I have known SS for over six years. His first name is a popular Hindu name while his last name is a popular muslim name. When out of curiosity I asked about his name, he mentioned that he grew up in a culture where muslims do not differentiate between Hindu gods or the muslim god. My curiosity piqued even more when he asked for time off to take his family to Tirupati to visit the Hindu temple (Tirupati is a popular Hindu pilgrim center in south India). He claimed that it was a family tradition to visit this temple after children write major exams (this again is a Hindu tradition among south Indians).

Few days back we were invited to his place for house warming party (Gruhapravasam). As we approached his house we could hear the loud chanting of a hindu priest. Inside the house we saw his family and that of his brother's seated obediently, dressed in traditional hindu attire, and performing many hours long pooja (Satya Narayana Vratam. Ironically it is a hour long story narration telling what ill will happen if you don't worship Lord Satya Narayana). I sat amazed looking and hearing a traditional Hindu pooja being performed in a muslim house. I was afraid that the local mosque's imam would show up any moment and protest. 

SS father-in-law sat next to me and as I struck conversation with him, he patiently explained the situation. He said that this is very common among the muslim families that belong to "backward caste" (people that belong to the lower rungs of hindu society) in the coast regions of our state (Andhra Pradesh). Muslims are part of the committee that take care of local temples. SS once told me that his family in his home town was in charge of the local temple's keys. He claimed that more recently Muslims of their region celebrate Hindu festivals along with Hindus and vice versa.

Borrowing of other religion's gods or tradition is not accepted in Islam and could be severely punishable. People have been lynched for far lesser religious mistakes.

It is very common in India for Muslims and Hindus visiting and praying to each other gods. Durgahs (muslim saint's tombs) are usually filled with people of all religions. Such simplicity, without minds clouded with religious bigotry is so refreshing to hear in a world filled with anger, hatred, and violence in the name of religion. These emotions are not new to India and may be worst in India. After 9/11 such emotions run amok all over the world. 

My ignorance about Islam especially the subcontinent muslim culture became evident when I was a graduate student in central Texas (College Station). My interaction with Pakistani students and later with Pakistani nanny who brought up both my sons in New Jersey was an eye opening. Growing up in a small town in India I was constantly fed by the media about the "evil Pakistan next door" and by the right wing political parties about extremism of Islam only to know that our muslim neighbor (Pakistan) lives out of as much fear about the Hindu neighbor as we do of them. 

It is after reading about Islam in a chapter in a book written by famous Indian writer, Khushwant Singh, about Sikhism that I understood the beauty of Indian flavor of Islam. Indian islam is not the traditional islam that one is aware of coming out of Arabia. Indian Islam has strong Indian roots of respecting wise people (saints), giving more credibility to those who can quote and teach from many religious books. This is an Indian way of living not just Hindu way. This lovely co-existence allowed India to give birth to more religions than any civilization did and most of them continue to flourish. This fever of co-existence influenced even the most fervent muslim invaders that came to live India. Moghuls, who came to rule India from central asia and Afghanistan were prime examples. Even many of Delhi Sultanate rulers before the Moghuls were tolerant. 

The most beautiful outcome of this is the flowering of Sufism in India. Most Indian muslims, whether Sunnis or Shia follow Sufi flavor of Islam. A Islam that coexists with local religions, traditions, and draws from local culture to build a beautiful peaceful and exciting way of life. Saints like Guru Nanak (founder of Sikh religion), Kabir (muslim brought up by Hindu foster parents), Shiridi Sai Baba (muslim saint more venerated by Hindus) are all products of Sufism. A true muslim from Arabia would be aghast to see an Indian muslim praying in Dargahs, allowing people of other religions into the mosques or donating money for construction of Hindu temples, tying threads to their wrists (thaayathu) and many more traditions that have common roots with India way of praying.

It is said that Indonesia did not convert to Islam because of Arab traders but only after the coming of the benevolent muslim traders from India (said to be from Gujarat) that they connected with Islam and discarded their Hindu and Buddhist religions. They continue their traditions with their Hindu and Buddhist roots to this day.

You can see this fragrance of secularism in India when you visit certain places like Fatehpur Sikri where one of the most secular illiterate emperor of India (Akbar) lived and debated about theology. One wonders why India was the only nation that was spared from the onslaught of Islam conversion from Spain to Indonesia. Indian's philosophy of "Live and Let Live" must be the reason. 

Not everything is as rosy as I potrayed till now. There have been incidents of religious intolerance in Indian history. The worst being the last powerful Moghul emperor Aurangazeb. Whose long rule of intolerance has sown the seeds of distrust and anger between muslim and non-muslim population. One wonders how India would have turned had Aurangazeb had not hounded and killed his elder brother, Dara Shikoh, the heir apparent, who was a Persian and Sanskrit scholar,  knowledgeable about most religious scriptures, translated many Hindu scriptures to Persian and Persian literature to Indian languages, and promoted harmony between muslim and hindu population. The scar of Indian partition on religious grounds and subsequent riots will remain on the Indian psyche for many generations to come. 

But the incredible India of religous diversity and tolerance is not visible when one comes on a quick visit or as a tourist. This is the India I was ignorant of even after living for last seven years. This is the India that hides behind the snarling traffic, polluted cities, and daily struggle for simple things in life like clean water, electricity, transportation, affordable housing.  In a struggle to survive under crushing population and eagerness to catchup the developed societies, is India losing the unique identity, character, and way of life that it built over centuries? As towns and villages become more like the cities of India will it lose the tolerance that is in-built? I am afraid it will as long as Indian schools emphasize more on academics like Math, Science and not on the achievements of its scholars, thinkers, religions and make the younger generation aware of its own achievements especially religious co-existence and diversity.

Few months back, when the gated community I live in Hyderabad, wanted to build a temple, one resident proposed including a mosque and church. This resident was shut off and his suggestion ignored and mocked. This is a community of educated, high worth, well travelled individuals. Is this the new India shining?

As we left our office admin's house after the house warming ceremony, his father-in-law mentioned that had they grown up in the city of Hyderabad (which has a significant population of muslims) they may not have been tolerant.

I have my doubts how long India will keep up with its tradition of secular living. As much as I detest the ruling congress party in India, I have to admire that they have steadfastly held on to the platform of secularism.

[I came across an article recently from a Pakistani newspaper titled "Democracy and Indian Muslims" by Tafail Ahmad. I suggest you read the article in context with my blog here.

Living in US and India

I wrote this article in October of 2007 and was published in The Hindu newspaper in India. This was a year after moving back to India. It was written in response to an op-ed article titled "Do we need Green Card" which mocked those who were desperate for Green Cards in US. 

I wrote this in haste just before leaving for US and did not expect it to be published (it was my first time to write to a newspaper in India) and even if it was published I thought it would be heavily edited and published in 'Letters to the Editor".

As I reached US I received a call from my father about the publication. Anyway, I meant to tell you to bear with mistakes in this article as it was a hastily written one. The original article may be read at this link. I am pasting the same here.

Life in India, U.S.

SUDHEER MARISETTI

This is in response to the article “Do we need Green Card?” (Open Page, September 23). I am a 41 year old Indian, who lived in the United States for 18 years and returned with my family to live in Hyderabad one and a half years ago. Based on this background I wish to highlight what is good about living in India and the U.S.

The U.S. is not as difficult a place to live in after 9/11 as portrayed in the article. Even though people in New York do live a little in apprehension (I lived and worked for 15 years in the New York metro area), they are as resilient and tough as Indians in Mumbai and Hyderabad after the regular bomb blasts that we encounter here in India.

Regarding the writer’s reference to school children killing their classmates, we see a constant stream of juvenile crime in India more often than in the U.S. I see constant news about young children kidnapping other kids for ransom in India and eventually killing their victims, I see students committing suicides over ragging (hazing), examinations, relationships.

The tragedy of Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans was indeed a black spot in the history of U.S. public administration, so are the atrocities of America overseas such as in Vietnam (My Lai massacre), Iraq, Chile (Allende), Iran (Shah and Mossadeh), and other incidents. But I found that country learning from its mistakes. We see equally tragic and shameful events here such as the recent collapse of a flyover in Hyderabad, the constant barrage of news of corruption, rapes of tribal women by the police in Andhra Pradesh, and many more to add.

It is true that most Indians crave for U.S. permanent residency (Green Card) but for very good reasons. Here are some:

• People respect law and order. You cannot jump red lights, cheat on legal agreements, hold money from tax authorities (black money) as we do in India.
• You are left alone irrespective of what ethnic group you belong to or what colour your skin is as long as you are a law abiding citizen.
• You are respected for what you are, not for what community you belong to in the U.S.
• You play by the rules and your life is easy, and without hassles.
• You don’t have to bribe to get simple things done.
• You get uninterrupted power, clean water, roads without potholes, high-speed internet services as long you pay your taxes and bills on time.

I returned to India and believe India to be a good place to live in for different reasons from what the writer has listed. Here are a few of them:

• An Indian is always an alien within a foreign culture irrespective of how many years he lives there.
• The love and affection we get from our people is touching. It does not mean Americans don’t have such feelings. They do but they show them differently. I am used to Indian display of emotions.
• We are very accommodative. Recently I had to travel on a train without a berth and only a ticket for seating. The passengers made it easy for me to do that without problems.
• We may be poor, disorganised but we are a country that will survive. We know how to survive without power, water, roads, police. If ever there is a collapse of human civilisation, it will be countries like India that will survive, not the developed western world.

India is a better place for Indians with education, connections, belonging to the right community, and money. It is still a struggle for many lower-middle and lower classes. For those of us who belonged to these sections, America gave us a break and lifted us to upper strata and now we return to enjoy the newly found status. India has a long way to go before there are equal opportunities for every one. Till then Indians should travel abroad, develop themselves economically and intellectually. Even if a small fraction of them returns to India, it is going to benefit us all.